Possibly Over-reading Signs

I'm fascinated by traffic signs and funeral homes here; I'm convinced that the differences in signs are themselves signs of cultural differences. I'm probably over-reading and coming up with crazy interpretations, but it's fun, anyway.

I noticed right away that Australian funeral businesses are just that: businesses. They aren't 'parlors' tucked away discreetly in some non-descript brick building on Second St, or 'Valhalla'--that is, mansions with sweeping lawns, a veritable virtual heaven.

You'll find them as small stores in a strip mall:  Just another business beside sewing shops and clothing stores, and just two doors down from Sultan's Persian Grill. This just struck me as odd--I wonder if we Americans need to either hide death, or romanticize it. Well, there is one Australian funeral business that does just that, even though it is a chain store company showing up in strip malls....I saw this sign (below) as a huge billboard along the M 2:

Okay, that's weird. And even more weird 20 metres wide as you're barreling down the motorway at 110 km in a small metal box. It's like she's waiting for you to crash and hopes you'll stop in for a consult. She's probably right though; I bet women are better with families around funerals. Just not sure why she has a bush hat on. She'll foray in where no one dares to go and leave things clean and smelling like a rose? Gross.

I thought this one was pretty hilarious; 'smash' would translate to 'auto-body'--once again, it seems that we have a difference--the Australians are just willing to call it like it is--a smashed car--and Americans seem to want to somehow not say it, or not to deal with the fact that we all die or our cars get occasionally smashed...maybe both at the same time. Someone should put a White Lady next to a smash shop.

The next one: My first thought was, a thought that lasted about two weeks, "WTH does that mean?" Now I know but I'll leave you with the pleasure of mystery.

My favorites are the traffic signs. Here's a few with some probably messed-up interpretations based on my shallow knowledge of Australians. Fun, hey?

I used to get lost--I mean really lost--in the labyrinthian Australian shopping centre car parks. I could not find the Exit, mainly because "Way Out" is used interchangeably with "Exit." So sometimes you can Exit and sometimes you gotta go way out. "Way Out" is more gentle--"exit" comes from the Greek word "exo"-- "out" basically, "out" both as a place (outside) or also as in "get out." "Way Out" doesn't have any connotation of rude commands to dogs in the house; it is just a fact, like "Toilet." Just there to clue you in.

Damn four-wheel swiveling trolleys. I found that 'trolley' comes from the Old French "troller" which means "to wander in a carefree way." Well, the things do certainly wander, but do not leave me feeling carefree, especially after I've struggled with it, actually twirling around to get it around a corner, no longer caring if the milk crushes the bread. I wonder if they would have to change the word for it if they advisedly locked the back wheels. Up America!!! But I like the more English full-sentence requests, rather than the "Shopping Cart Return." Now why am I okay with "Way Out" and not "Shopping Cart Return"? They are the same simple indication of a place, no command involved. No idea. I just like more humane, conversational language while I'm trying to remain human in traffic.

Here's just a cute one, my sister's favorite:

Yes, those are little Calves with cute old-fashioned shoes. That's all you need to know--no need for a full-figure with a round head and arms and everything. Just Calves Walking. That's the part you need to know, right? That the Calves are Walking. Simple. Seems also less de-humanizing than the stick figures somehow. I somehow care more about hitting those cute calves than the bobble-head stick figures. There are some stick figures though, and one has an old husband and wife. The sign says, "Aged." When I see that, I just say, "Okay, thanks for the concept."

I just like this one and here's what the Oxford says about the origin of the word "queue":

"...late 16th century (as a heraldic term denoting the tail of an animal): from French, based on Latin cauda 'tail'."

So Americans are more mathematical (line)--what is a line, anyway? Does it exist in reality? Do points exist? Damn, if you're in a line, do you really exist? Aussies are thinking rather about being whipped around on the tail of an animal, or that queuing necessarily means you are at the tail of the beast, you are the last part and must simply accept it. You are not in the middle of the heraldic sheild, on the vert rampant but towards the edge, at the end of the butt of a beast holding up the central sheild of meaning. Accept it. Australians are generally more willing to queue in traffic, I would say. In fact, you queue in the correct lane way before you have to turn left or right. They don't seem to like the Toyota Corolla that wavers and whips around between lanes. I've got a new sign now for the honkers though, after I made myself promise myself that I'd stop using the bird. It is a very expressive wave, a little like the Queen on procession, but a lot more violent.

Okay, and this is the best one, from an American point of view. This one stopped me in my tracks and gave me all kinds of weird visuals:

And finally, people can be signs, too. We came across these young men, pictured below; they were on parade at one of the city hall-type buildings, a sign that the Governor-General of Australia was about to arrive. The Governor-General is the British Representative of the Queen in Australia. The current office-holder is an Australian woman. It was interesting to see the pomp and cirmcumstance; what does it mean to dress up all alike with bagpipes and weapons, all in a row, for an important personage? Is it a willingness to submit to review or a sign that this person has the authority to judge? Do Australians care that they have a Governor? I remember the empty, un-lived in Governor's House in Annapolis--well, it wasn't un-used. We did swing-dancing there, had classes, and listened to concerts there...it had become a symbol of the commonality, or community of people, a place of fun and learning, rather than the symbol of authority from a paternal nation. Here, the Governor does have a House and lives there, still a symbol of a parent country. This, I think, is one of the greatest differences between Australians and Americans, we who have so much else in common--from wide spaces, new world existence, optimism, to a bit of a butchered lower-class English accent handed down...it is their willingness to stay loyal to more ancient traditions, a monarchy that sets them apart in one way.